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Must be ok with periodic hand-holding perhaps during certain sensual songs and while walking into the festival initially. Fingernails and Toenails must be nicely painted and harmonious with general color scheme of outfit.

I Am Looking Men

Periodic moments of extended eye contact. Allow me to brush your hair once per day not mandatory, but encouraged.

Must not be into drugs, pot ok. Must take a minimum of four photos of us together and post them to your Instigram account.

Any personal grooming such as toenail clipping, eyebrow plucking or lipstick application must be done in my presence. At least once during festival, you must allow me to carry you on my shoulders so you can see stage better perfect time for instigram photo!

At least once during our stay after your shower, you must use the steam to write a cute message on the bathroom mirror for me to find later when I shower. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and as mentioned, an all expenses paid trip.

My name is Gordon and I am 56 years old from West Covina. Would you take this deal?

If so, you lack a basic self-preservation instinct.